When was the last time you were truly kind to yourself?

Many of us move through life constantly caring for others, family, work, responsibilities, yet rarely stop to care for ourselves in the same way.

• We push through exhaustion.

• We ignore our emotions.

• We criticise ourselves more harshly than we would ever criticise anyone else.

  
  

Over time, this quiet self-neglect can build into something much heavier: anxiety, low mood, chronic stress, and a deep sense of being out of balance.

What many people don’t realise is that this pattern often begins very early in life.

Research in psychology and trauma studies suggests that when children experience difficult environments, such as emotional neglect, criticism, instability, or more serious forms of trauma or abuse, the mind sometimes develops protective strategies to cope. One of these is dissociation, where a child learns to disconnect from their feelings, needs, or even their sense of self in order to feel safe.

While this may help a child survive difficult circumstances, the habit of disconnecting from ourselves can continue into adulthood.

We become experts at:

• ignoring our own needs

• minimising our feelings

• prioritising everyone else

• being overly critical of ourselves

Slowly, we stop truly seeing ourselves.

The good news is that this pattern can be gently reversed. Reconnection with yourself does not need to be complicated or overwhelming.

Simple daily practices can help rebuild that relationship with yourself:

• Mindfulness – noticing your thoughts and emotions without judgement

• Meditation – even 5–10 minutes of quiet breathing can calm the nervous system

• Self-awareness – catching the moments when your inner voice becomes critical

• Self-compassion – speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend

These small steps begin to rebuild the connection between mind, body and emotions.

Sometimes, however, deeper patterns stored in the body can make it difficult to shift these habits alone.

This is where kinesiology can be very helpful. Through gentle muscle testing and balancing techniques, kinesiology works with the body’s energy systems to identify emotional stress patterns and restore balance. As the body releases stored stress, many people experience a renewed sense of clarity, calm and connection with themselves.

Relearning to care for yourself is not selfish, it is essential.

Because when you reconnect with yourself, everything else in life

begins to come back into balance.

Research

• Van der Kolk, B. (2014) – The Body Keeps the ScoreExplains how trauma is stored in the body and how dissociation develops as a protective mechanism.

• Felitti et al. (1998) – Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study)One of the largest studies linking childhood trauma and neglect to long-term mental and physical health outcomes.

• Siegel, D. (2010) – The Developing MindExplores how early childhood experiences influence emotional regulation and self-awareness.

"Research such as the ACE Study and work by trauma specialists like Dr Bessel van der Kolk highlights how early emotional experiences can shape our long-term health and emotional wellbeing."